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Ah tourists, I’ve been one tons of times (no doubt saying my share of funny things) and that’s always lots of fun but there’s nothing like seeing tourists out and about in your own home town.
Tourists that come to Alaska are notorious for saying funny things. I guess this is because we can seem like such an alien place, set so far from the other states and all. And with the Alaska that you see in movies it’s a wonder that most people don’t think we’re all caribou hunting igloo dwellers here.
Well actually some people do think that lol but even those that don’t can still be mystified by the aura that Alaska is extremely different from other places in the US. This leads to all sorts of questions that seem funny to us locals like:
“What kind of money do you use here in Alaska?”
“How do you get the moose to cross at the moose crossing sign?”
“what time do they turn on the northern lights?”
I think it’s nice how excited people get about the idea that Alaska is this adventurously different and exciting place. In many cases that is actually true but in others it’s just as dull an un-adventurous here as any other state.
Having worked in the tourist industry at one point I’ve had quite a few tourists ask me funny questions but my favorite line from a tourist wasn’t a question or even anything that was said to me in particular. It was something I overheard while Jennifer and I were walking out of a local hotel we worked at one year.
Coming out of the hotel behind us were a group of tourists who obviously had just arrived and were taking their first steps out into the town to look around. They were chattering happily about all the things they had planned and places they were going to see when one of the ladies in the group suddenly exclaimed:
“Oh my god!”
What could it be? I thought to myself while quickly scanning the parking lot, nothing unusual seemed to be there. I looked back at her but she was only looking at some taxis off to the side.
“Oh my god!” she continued, “they don’t call ‘em taxis here they call ‘em tundras!” That last part was said with the happiest air of discovery, that here in Alaska even something that’s usually boring like taxis had a cool Alaskan twist to it.
So yeah I felt a little guilty giggling (quietly) to myself as I kept walking. The reason she said “they call ‘em tundras” is because the lights on the taxis she was looking at said ‘TUNDRA’ on them …because they were owned by Tundra Taxi, a taxi company local to that town.
Personally I hope no one ever told her that taxis were just boring old taxis here in Alaska. With any luck she went through her whole trip experiencing lots more happy (but hopefully more accurate) discoveries, though I’m sure she got some funny looks from people if she said “I’m going to go call a tundra now” or something like that :D.
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LOL! When I was a kid I wondered the same thing about the deer crossing signs here in MN.
Hi StumbleBum!
Well apparently some people never grow out of it :D. Boy I really do wish the moose only crossed at the moose crossing signs, that would make driving through certain stretches of highway so much safer.
I’ve been in a car that hit a moose and was lucky to escape with only a shower of glass and the terrifying experience of watching the roof of the car get peeled off by the poor moose (hmm, was that too graphic a description?). I can only imagine what would have happened if the angle/speed of the car had been slightly different.
*picking jaw up off floor*
Ummm… so lemme see if I got this right. You’re writing about the kooky things that tourists say and relegating this epic moose encounter to the comments section???
Anita! I want to hear more about the moose story. Please! Were there others in the car? I know my son will want to know what kind of car and whether or not there were airbags in it.
Back on topic: I always find it funny what some tourists consider photo-worthy. Like washroom signs, fire hydrants, street signs (ok – I sorta get that one), etc… Once I even saw someone taking a picture of a garbage can. I couldn’t resist – I asked him why. He said he thought it was nice how much garbage was actually in the can and not strewn all around it. OK – I guess.
Hi Krudler!
The car was an ’89 Chevy Cavalier, color was light brown and no it didn’t have air bags. It did have a sun roof more towards the back of the car which was nice.
So this was all years and years ago back when Jennifer and I were teenagers living on our own. We didn’t have tons of money but were able to scrape together enough to buy a used car from a mechanic we kinda knew, the car had been in an accident and the mechanic bought it from the previous owners at a steep discount because they just wanted to get rid of it.
What was wrong with the car? Well part of the front end was falling off. Instead of replacing the front end the mechanic just quickly stitched it back up with some sort of really strong plastick-y wire. I’d never seen a ‘repair’ job like it and haven’t since. The stitching gave the car a bit of a Frankenstein look to it so we named it Frank.
At that time Jennifer and I worked at the same hotel, ironically the very same hotel where the ‘Tundra’ thing happened lol. The hotel was in Fairbanks but we lived in a place called Moose Creek and it was a half hour drive via highway to get to work.
It was early morning so still a bit misty and cold, we had just got on the highway for about thirty seconds, speeding up to a good highway speed when two moose come galloping out of the woods. I’m assuming Jennifer took evasive measures but all I remember is the tires making a horrible noise and BAM, a collision, getting real acquainted with my seat belt, and the car being forced to an unnatural angle.
The moose rolled/bounced across the hood then shattering the windshield then taking much of the top of the car off which btw was freaking bizarre to see, flew behind the car and landed on the pavement (poor moose).
So there we are sitting in the middle of the highway, I am covered not only in tiny squares of glass but also lots of tufts of moose hair 0_o. I look over at Jennifer and say ‘Are you okay?’ and she just sits there. I think she eventually said a small ‘yes’ but it was very obvious to me she was in shock, though luckily seemed to be unharmed otherwise.
I unbuckle my seat belt, crunch crunch goes the little squares of glass on my hand. They are the tiniest pieces and get into all the little nooks and folds of the car and my clothes. I get out of the car to walk around intending to try and let Jennifer out and I see that people have started to stop to help.
There’s something I’ve noticed about car accidents -it brings out an interesting trait in some people, there is almost a sense of excitement that they might have the opportunity to be a hero.
At our crash site a subtle jockeying for Hero status began and was won by the head of the group of Air Force people who had pulled up in a blue van. In the blue van was a radio (practically no one had cell phones at this point) that he used to call for an ambulance.
Jennifer was still in the car and the group of Air Force people moved in to give any medical treatment that was necessary. She did have some cuts I think but otherwise there wasn’t much to do so they were basically talking to her. I have no clue if I was cut up or not but I just remember that I was covered in the disturbing combination moose hair and glass, yikes.
While waiting for the ambulance to come more random people stopped and lingered, not sure what they were hoping to do exactly because there ended up being a group of people just standing around in the middle of the highway but hey it was nice of them anyway.
The ambulance showed up and treated Jennifer for her shock, I think they sat her in the ambulance and gave her oxygen but I’m not sure about that, I’ll have to ask her if she remembers.
And where was I at this point? I had gotten shuffled back by the Air Force and ambulance people and relegated to the group of lingerers 0_0. Apparently they didn’t notice that I was in the accident too and thought I was just another bystander getting too close to the car (I would never tolerate such a thing now but I was a teenager and was in a bit of shock myself).
At the end of the medical treatment Jennifer, who was just then starting to come out of shock, said ‘You okay Honey?’ and the ambulance people said to me ‘Oh hey you were in the crash?’
Yeah no shit, I’m f-ing covered in broken glass and moose hair!
Poor Frank was wrecked beyond repair. I’m so thankful that the car was as aerodynamic as it was and the moose was able to roll over the car for the most part, otherwise Jennifer and I might not have survived that crash in one piece.
And the moose? The poor moose was just trying to get from one part of the woods to another, unfortunately there was a four lane highway in the way. As you’ve probably guessed the moose did not survive, though it’s friend did run back safely into the woods that they came from.
Here in Alaska all moose that die on road ways are property of the state and are hauled back to town and end up being fed to poor people in local soup kitchens.
Thank you so much for sharing that story. I really enjoyed reading it. But your stories have this serial drama way of leaving teasers at the end – hints at another story that needs telling.
Road kill being fed to poor people in soup kitchens??? Really??? Do the poor people know what they’re eating?
OK – I’ll stop now.
But what an image – our poor Anita covered in glass and tufts of moose hair. Sounds like the worst sweater ever!
Thanks again for telling the story. And for describing the car – my son liked that part. :)
Yes really lol. I can kind of answer the ‘do the poor people know what they’re eating’ question. When I was younger and lived with my mother we went to soup kitchens all the time and I had no clue it was roadkill moosemeat we were eating.
To be fair though I didn’t grow up in Alaska, I’m thinking that poor people who’ve lived here for a long time would probably know.
The thought of it is a bit jarring initially but I’m glad that the program is in place and puts the moose to good use. Though I’m glad that I never found any pieces of car in my soup kitchen moose stew :D, jk!
Here’s a little more about this from Wikipedia (who believe it or not has an entry for ‘Roadkill cuisine’):
Interesting that bear is included on the list, I wonder what bear meat tastes like. Or maybe I already know LOL!
Oh I forgot to mention something that Jennifer wanted me to add here:
When she was in the ambulance the EMT tried to take her pulse using one of those things that go over your finger. But no matter what the tech tried no pulse would show up, so he told her ‘You’ve got no pulse, I guess you’re dead’. :D
I had so much fun reading this Blog! :)
These kind of things happen all the time in everywhere I guess. I can say for my own experience that over here tourist from other countries think the most crazy things about what they think they see in here. lol
Like: The Amazonic Jungle starts in Venezuela, and NatGeo once upon made this epi in where they show how Indians from here eat Spiders (Huge Ones) so some tourist think that all Venezuelan ppl eat Spiders for Breakfast! lol
Now! I want to let myself to be able to try and give an answer to some questions (The first thing that comes to my ind)! (Perhaps I don´t know what would be my own expressions when Visiting a new place)
“What kind of money do you use here in Alaska?”
Penguins Money!
“How do you get the moose to cross at the moose crossing sign?”
Ask the Chiken who crossed the street years ago!
“what time do they turn on the northern lights?”
When the southern ppl go to nap!
AND….
How will I get back to my house????
In Venezuela we use Sparks!!! But sometimes they call´em Neptune and they´re not yellow but white!
NOOOO!!!! WE don´t eat spiders!!!!! lol
Hi Nairim!
You should play tricks on the tourists by carrying around clear grocery bags with fake spiders in it. When one of the tourists asks you why you’re carrying around spiders just say ‘hey this is my lunch!’ :D