[This is a blog post I wrote for MySpace on 3/7/2007 5:01:00 PM. To see the story behind why this is here and for links to the rest of the posts, check out the main MySpace page here on Anita’s Notebook.]
Maybe it’s just me. Probably is just me but doesn’t it bother you when…
*Myspace says you have a ‘new message’ in your inbox but it just turns out to be spam. I mean here I am all excited thinking somebody’s written ME a personal and heartfelt message…but really all they want to do is enlarge my penis (how did they know? lol) or show me how to make millions taking online surveys. So sad.
*You go to pour cereal into your bowl and all that comes out is…a couple of cheerios and sawdust. Mostly sawdust. Then you try to get all clever and shit and figure if you just ration one cheerio to a bite that it won’t be so bad. Well don’t fool yourself because it is that bad! What you really have is a bowl of milky sawdust. It’s best to just skip the mindgames and go straight to the Pop Tarts. Seriously.
*Damn you Emergency Broadcast System!!! Is it really necessary to test it during the most interesting and/or critical points in a show?? Why can’t they test it at 4:30 in the morning (when nobody’s really watching) or at least during Judge Judy (when nobody’s really watching)?
*The cashier checking you out wants to have an in-depth conversation about every single fucking item as they scan it. This happens to Jennifer and I all the time. It seems like we always either get Lurch the eye contact avoiding deaf-mute who acts like we ruined his day by actually buying stuff at the supermarket or this:
(cashier scans orange)
“Oh an orange huh?”
(then stops and waits for someone to respond)
Oh. My. God. I mean what the hell do you say to that?? YES it’s an orange. Yes we are buying an orange. Yes it’s the color orange!
(cashier scans whatever new gadget we happen to be buying)
“So does this work good?”
(stops scanning and waits for someone to respond)
Hold on I gotta go jump in the time machine and see how it turns out. I’ll be right back. In fact I’ll be back before I leave. See.
(scans box of Corn Flakes)
“Oh a new box!”
(stops and waits for us to be wowed and impressed)
NOBODY CARES. Really. Nobody cares if there is a new cartoon rooster on the Corn Flakes box. Nobody.
*There’s only one freaking square left on the toilet paper roll. Listen all you lazy toilet paper changers (you know who you are!)…one square does not do anything for anyone. It’s only real purpose was to attach the toilet paper to the roll. That’s it. No it’s not that hard to change the roll but that’s not the point. It’s the principle dammit.
*Okay this is totally unrelated but…doesn’t the Snuggle bear seem like a demon possesed vessel from hell? Just sayin. This is what I think of every time I see those Snuggle Fabric Softener commercials: