[This is a blog post I wrote for MySpace on 11/3/2006 5:50:00 PM. To see the story behind why this is here and for links to the rest of the posts, check out the main MySpace page here on Anita’s Notebook.]
So there has been some drama lately concerning a certain person who shall remain nameless (*ahem* Jennifer) accusing me of being a Blog Stealing Villain. Did I steal the snow? Let me set the record straight once and for all:
There you go. Now no one can question my integrity as a crappy MySpace blogger ever again! I’m so confident in my position that I’ll never feel a need to bring up the subject anymore. Case closed. Over.
I mean damn, it’s snow! You look out the window and it’s there…and you think ‘okay, snow is a good subject to write about. everybody can relate to it. throw in some sappy childhood memories and you can tie past to the present and…voila, you have a decent blog worthy of the two or so people that’ll actualy read it.’
I mean who would suspect that it would become an international incident involving name calling, slanderous accusations, and *sniffle* *sniffle* hurt feelings. Not that it bothers me. Cause it doesn’t. Okay maybe it did a little. But I’m over it. Never bringing it up again. Not even going to think about it.
Okay so seriously…it’s not the SNOW that makes the blog, know what I mean? You can keep your snow dammit I don’t need it. I can write stupid musings about anything.
Seriously. Watch this:
Gummy Bears- Delicious gummy goodness. How can devouring bags of cute colorful teddy bears be so fun? I cry when I eat them.
Microwaves- Is there really a point in pulling out your food 3 seconds early?? Yes. It’s a proven law of physics that during the last 3-5 seconds the microwave creates a warp in space-time, thus making it the equivalent of 3-5 hours for the hungry person waiting on the bowl of Ramen Noodles. Really! It’s in that Stephen Hawking book. Near the end lol.
Snappy Comebacks- Why is it that you can only think of snappy comebacks hours after you needed them…and usually as you’re about to fall asleep? I propose a ‘snappy comeback time out’. It would be valid for 48 hours after the initial insult or passive agressive snipe. It would go something like this:
‘Hey um…nice pants. Did McHammer have a garage sale?’
Then instead of scampering off and hiding under a rock (like you always do, admit it) you would instantly throw up the ‘snappy comeback time out’ signal. The conversation would be frozen for 48 hours, giving you plenty of time to think of…well a snappy comeback duh. With this system you can have catty bitch fights lasting months or even years. Yay!
See. I don’t need SNOW. Keep your snow. I don’t want it. I have gummy bears, microwaves, and snappy comebacks. So there.