[This is a blog post I wrote for MySpace on 10/3/2008 10:52:00 AM. To see the story behind why this is here and for links to the rest of the posts, check out the main MySpace page here on Anita’s Notebook.]
Body Hi everybody,
Thanks for all the support you’ve given in the last few weeks. Sorry if I haven’t written or called or anything, it’s not personal I promise. For those of you who aren’t local to AK I’ll be writing more about what happened, eventually. Right now I’m just trying to focus on putting together a memorial here in Anchorage for Jody. This (surprisingly, dissapointingly) has turned out to be a really difficult thing for me. I expected to want to throw myself into this, but after going to his funeral in Washington last week I’m mainly just horrified at the idea.
Confession: what I really want to do is crawl into bed and just lay there for the next six months, or forever lol. Preferrably with a morphine drip hooked up to my arm and the tv permanently set to HGTV. Because there’s no guns, or murders, or anybody commiting suicide on that channel. Ever. So I don’t have to look up from the laptop and suddenly be slammed with images of a person dying in a pool of blood. Or somebody doing an autopsy to determine the bullet trajectory. Or somebody making a suicide joke. Just the nice predictable numbness of people trying to dress up crap houses with pretty flowers and new furniture.
But yeah back to reality and non-selfishness. No matter how much I want to never leave the house again, Jody deserves to be honored with a memorial in his home town and his friends and family here deserve a chance at closure. Everybody is still in shock to say the least. The circumstances surrounding his death were especially tragic on top of the fact that he was only 22 years old. There’s a saying that goes ‘Dying seems less sad than having lived too little.’ and it’s true. He survived over a year in Iraq only to die before ever getting married, having kids, or even just getting back home again.
There’s no date set yet since things are just getting started, but I’ll post info as I have it. If you’ve been to a memorial that really helped you have closure I’d be grateful to hear what different things might have been done there that helped. Anyway, hopefully this blog is making sense it’s 3am right now so who knows. Thanks again for all your support.