read stories

Behold The Horror That Is Rejuvenique

Picture of a woman wearing the Rejuvenique torture device.

Sit and listen while I tell you the tale of a land where women electrocute their faces daily in hopes of achieving the ultimate yet elusive prize of unwrinkled skin.

But to do this they must first procure horrible torture masks from an evil entity called ‘Infomercial’…

(This video is best watched while playing a soundtrack of random shrieks of terror in the background.)

Once the mask and ‘toning gel’ (for the electrical contact points) arrive in the mail then the fun really begins…

‘Give your face a treat.’